RiffTrax Live: “Plan 9 From Outer Space”

As I delay the further writing of actual album reviews, today I offer something a little different, in that this isn’t an actual album review; it’s not even a concert review (though some music was played); I would call it a live event. I offer this prerequisite to justify the fact that I sat and stared at a movie screen for 2 hours, though somewhere in the world – Nashville, Tennessee – it was being played live to a crowded theater.

I’m talking about RiffTrax’s brutal and hilarious slaughter of Ed Wood’s terrible Plan 9 From Outer Space, a 1959 flick so bad that it’s been called the worst movie of all time – with good reason: the plot is nonexistent, the acting is wooden, and the unintentional camp and hilarity levels are off the charts.

For those unfamiliar with RiffTrax, it’s from the same guys who were the masterminds behind Mystery Science Theater 3000, except with a twist (there’s always a twist): instead of the silhouettes of two puppets and a Midwestern guy sitting in front of a screen lobbing degrading insults at a movie screen, an MP3 file is purchased (for a low, low price of $2.99) of three Midwestern guys lobbing degrading insults at a movie. Except the movie is up to you to acquire: if it’s something you own, great!; if it’s something you’ve wanted to own, now’s the time to purchase it; if it’s something you can’t see yourself ever owning, but need to listen to the RiffTrax out of sheer curiosity – or devout fanaticism to these comic geniuses – then hit up your local rental establishment or, if you’re a shut-in, order it anonymously from Netflix.

It’s not as complicated as it sounds, and I gave it a try a few years ago when it was first starting up, though I eventually calmed down once I began saving money for other things. Still, it’s a logical progression to MST3k, and with Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett being the masterminds behind it, you know you’re in for a hilarious treat.

I wasn’t planning on going to the live event, because I had no one to go with. (No, I’m not one of those shut-ins I described above, though I did use Netflix because I wanted to give it a try. I just don’t like going to movies by myself.) But figuring I didn’t want to miss out on an event that promised hilarity, I hedged my bets and asked my friend Laura if she’d be interested in going. To my pleasant surprise, she said yes – all in less than 24 hours before the show was set to begin. She’s a good friend.

We met at the Regal 22 Cinemas in Warrington, which was the closest venue (a 10 minute hike for me, but closer to a half hour for her), at 7 30 and purchased the tickets. Considering I don’t see movies all that often, I got a little chatty with the girl selling me tickets (not in a “hey what are you doing later” kind of way, but pleasant, inoffensive chit-chat); I asked her if she knew if the RiffTrax was funny. “I honestly don’t know.” At least she was honest.

$12.50 later, Laura and I found our seats and settled in. We were entertained by a multitude of things, the least of which was the screen in front of us, which showed what I thought to be generic “Did you know?!” movie trivia games that they used to show before commercials and endless previews took over. One that generated huge laughs was for the “Movie Mistakes” genre: “Keanu Reeves starred in The Day The Earth Stood Still.” Take that, Keanu! Laura and I spent a lot of the time watching the people coming in, and I observed that you could certainly tell who was there to see “normal” movie screenings and who was there to see RiffTrax. Considering MST3k attracts a generally nerdier crowd, there was an abundance of neckbeards, potbellies, and snorting laughter. I say this not as a criticism – just an observation.

The theater was relatively full, but not every seat was occupied. Unfortunately for Laura, two larger people sat down right next to her, despite the abundance of open seats in our radius; I offered to move over, but she laughed nervously and said no. What a trooper. At various points, the sound of applause and laughter could be heard, though the screen was still showing movie facts; this was a little off-putting at first, until the visual feed kicked in, and the event started in full. Mike, Bill, and Kevin bounded out and set up the premise, telling some jokes to get the crowd in the mood, and they promptly took their places to the side of a movie screen. We were treated to a short from the 1950s: Flying Stewardesses, which was more of an instructional thing for stewardesses flight attendants that also featured a bizarre boating sidetrip. There were also a lot of jokes at Ft. Worth’s expense, followed by many apologies. (Favorite riff, as generic-looking businessman excitedly steps off the plane: “I’m Bob Executive. Which way is business?” Runner-up: “Thank you for keeping the plane snake-free.”)

The riffers were on fire, and the audience was loving every minute. Occasionally, the screen would split to show the three riffers, with the movie taking up most of the space; this was good, because sometimes their facial expressions said a lot, even if they weren’t telling a joke. Kevin was clearly having a great time, and you could even hear him laughing off-mike at a lot of the “action” happening on-screen. Bill and Mike, too, were enjoying themselves, and occasionally strayed from the script to throw in an impromptu joke; if it wasn’t impromptu, then they certainly made it seem so, and that takes talent.

With the short now over, emcee Veronica Belmont (apparently an Internet sensation, though I had never heard of her, and I’m the end all be all of what goes on on the Internet) walked onstage while the riffers took a break. She seemed a little out of her element here, but she might have just gotten a view of the front row, and didn’t quite know how to react to all the pounds of stinky manflesh that lurked beneath ragged, yellowed fabric proudly sporting faded MST3k images. I thought she did a good job regardless, and she introduced Jonathan Coulton, another Internet star who sang two songs: one about a zombie attack, and another about flying (I think). I liked Jonathan, but he was a little too mellow and laid-back for the crowd, who had just been whipped into a (relative) frenzy with the short. Needless to say, his call for audience participation went largely unanswered at the Warrington 22, though I did my best to play along. The best part was Kevin making an apparently unscripted appearance to get the audience to sing along, as he mimed along to Jonathan’s words for the zombie song, turning in a very credible and impressive stint as a mindless drone in search of gray matter. What got the most laughs were the mostly unsuspecting Nashville audience singing along, especially two girls who were really big fans of Jonathan’s and knew every word by heart.

Mike then walked back onstage to hand out gifts and introduce Richard “Lowtax” Kyanka, founder of the comedy site SomethingAwful.com, of which I am a member/goon. He introduced two “homemade” commercials, one of which was a hilarious grain expo commercial in a ludicrously overdone style (shouting announcer, unnecessary explosions and screen graphics, overenthusiastic witness reports), which got huge laughs, though the second one about a berry watch wasn’t as funny. I think by this time, the audience was ready for some Plan 9 From Outer Space hilarity.

And boy did they deliver. I won’t go into specifics, mostly because I can’t remember a whole lot of it, but this is the perfect movie for these guys to rip apart, and they had the audience in tears. I know there were a few jokes that were “missed” because the audience reaction was so vociferous; sometimes, just the riffers laughing was enough to send the audience into gales of laughter. At one point, I was crying from laughing so hard.

After two hours, precisely, the show came to an end, and everyone at the Warrington 22 clapped and whistled. Laura and I walked out and chatted in the parking lot for a while, still marveling over the hilarity; I was worried at the kind of reception she would give the event, as I’ve noticed that when I watch some of the worse movies from MST3k, not even the riffing can save it, and I lose interest pretty quickly. (I needn’t have worried – she loved it.) Luckily, that wasn’t the case here; it was like Ed Wood created this movie just for RiffTrax to tear it to shreds. So thank you, Ed Wood, for your horrible delusions of grandeur, and thank you Bela Lugosi, for the minimal five minutes that had been filmed of you walking around a graveyard before, ironically, you died. (Thanks also to Mr. Wood’s wife’s chiropractor, who stood in for Mr. Lugosi following his death, even though you looked nothing at all like Mr. Lugosi.) And thank you, John “Bunny” Breckinridge, for your flamboyant smugness as the Ruler of Homotania.

More importantly, thank you, Michael J. Nelson, Bill Corbett, Kevin Murphy, Jonathan Coulton, Veronica Belmont, the people in Nashville, and the people at RiffTrax. We should do this again soon. How’s next week for you guys?

If you haven’t already, check out www.rifftrax.com for tons of information and sound files that will occupy you for hours – even days!